08 October 2007
Immediately following the rally, I disappeared on a well deserved holiday. However, being the slightly geeky person I am, I couldn't resist producing a few stats on the rally itself...
• Miles Covered : 2,681
• Challenges Completed: 3 of 4
• Points Scored : 950
• Finishing Position : 24th of 150
• Average Speed : 50.8 mph (81.8 km/h)
• Fuel Economy : 30.8 mpg (7.6 l/100km)
• Fuel Used : 87.0 gallons (395.5 litres)
• Road Tolls : £141.13 (€203.13)
• Border Crossings : 5
• Mountain Passes : 6
• Longest Drive: 677 miles (1,089 km)
• Breakdowns : 0
• Speeding Fines : 0 (so far)
• Accidents : 0 (just)
Labels: Staples2Naples 07
26 September 2007
The final leg. Getting up early (no, really) I was on the road for 7:30am, in temperatures of just 5 degrees. From the car’s perspective, that’s great, as it’ll keep temperatures in the engine and gearbox nice and low. From my perspective, I wasn’t quite so keen, thanks the heating and ventilation failure yesterday.
Still, the roads were clear, if a bit cloudy up the mountains, so it was time to press on. A five hour stint behind the wheel, stopping only for fuel, left me at Reims for a brief pitstop, before moving on to Calais.
I’d write more about the drive but, as you’ll have seen from the blog on the way down, it’s all a bit dull.
Grabbing an earlier ferry than planned, the priority loading I’d paid for left me wishing I hadn’t. In force seven gales, the nice people at P&O had my car seemingly dangling off the back of the boat with nothing more than a small fence keeping it in place. Still, it survived, even if it did get more than a bit wet – and with gaping holes in the bonnet for cooling purposes, that was a concern!
It’s home.





Labels: Staples2Naples 07
Travelling back to England, I’ve just taken the opportunity to head to Reims, or more specifically the long abandoned Reims-Gueux race circuit. The French have been gradually building motorways over the old circuit that hosted Grand Prix racing from 1950 to 1966, with the last remaining pieces now subject to a campaign to save them. I wish the campaign every success.
As a racer, it’s almost emotional being here. However, the urge to drive fast has grown too strong, so I’ll soon be back on the road towards Calais…


Labels: Staples2Naples 07
25 September 2007
I know, it’s not really the rally anymore, but I’m still hammering the car for all it’s worth in order to make it back to the UK in under two days.
Today was interesting. Leaving Rome at 9:30am after Juliana had taken the hotel bus to the airport, I’d travelled around 5km by 10:30am. From there things got better, if less interesting. The motorway network from Rome to Genoa was efficient, if not cheap and interesting.
However, that all changed once I was past Genoa, as the roads became a real joy to drive. Little traffic, high speeds, long flowing twists and turns, tunnels, massive bridges and mountains all made life very interesting. As I started my eighth hour behind the wheel, I was as fresh as when I started. Working up towards Mont Blanc, the mountains got bigger and scarier, unlike the big but pretty mountains Switzerland. As I hit the Mont Blanc tunnel the sun was just drifting towards the horizon, and the weather was cool but dry. As I came out the other side it was as dark as possible and torrential rain. Welcome to France.
A short 90 minute blast to Archamps, just south of Geneva got me to the hotel just in time for some sleep before I do it all again tomorrow.
The car covered 990km in around 12 hours with one major failure. The air-con has now died, along with all the other heating and ventilation controls.



Labels: Staples2Naples 07
24 September 2007
The big finish, but first we had a big start. After joining up with the Home2Rome rally teams overnight, it was off to the beach for the S2N vs. H2R fight, the weapon of choice being the Super Soaker XP240. At the crack of dawn (or about 8:30am) around 200 people made the lengthy trek across the road to the beach, armed and dangerous.Facing off from one another, the order to soak was given. Despite being massively outnumbered, the S2N team reigned supreme, drowning the H2R competitors quickly. From there, it was to the cars and off to Rome.
The challenge for the final day sounded easy. Find nine Italian number plates, use the numbers and some basic maths, and try to get as close to a total of 100,000 as possible. Oh yes, really easy. Our total of 24,000 suggested it wasn’t quite as easy as we’d hoped.
The drive was tough on the car, with temperatures again around 32 degrees, proving a bit bothersome for the Safrane over longer distances, so reasonably frequent stops were needed to keep temperatures in check. Arriving at the outskirts to Rome at around 5pm, we elected not to try and take the car to the centre, but instead parked at the Best Western hotel and made our way to the finish line without the car.
Of the 270 starters, only three that we know of took their car in, so we were in good company. Arriving at the Caffe Bernini in Piazza Nuvona for around 7pm, we’d finally made it! Meeting up with those that hadn’t made it through the early stages, chatting with friends we’d made along the way, and cheering as the official results and prizes were handed out, we realised what a good time we’d had, and plans were started for 2008 before we’d even finished our meal…
As Juliana heads off to the airport in the morning, the last challenge is to be faced by me alone – driving the car back to England.
In the meantime, thanks for all your support. We’ve had a great time doing this, but without you it may not have been possible, and SPARKS certainly wouldn’t have raised as much as we’ll raise. I’ve no idea of the total now but, once I’m back in the UK, I’ll tot things up and let you know.
What a week!





Labels: Staples2Naples 07
23 September 2007
Or Blackpool-by-the-Med, Italy, to give it it’s proper title.
Today was the theme day so, with Jules dressed as a schoolgirl and me desperately going round the shops in Aprica on a Sunday morning looking for a skirt, we arrived in the collection area to be confronted by countless bemused locals and hundreds of rally goers in full drag. The idea was to recreate the St Tinian’s look, but the end result fell someway short.
The challenge for the day was daunting and, frankly, we couldn’t be bothered. To score maximum points you had to drive to a train station outside Venice, get a train to Venice, walk for 20 minutes or so to St Marks square, and then get a photograph of your team.
With your spare wheel.
Given the size of the Safrane wheels, and the 32 degree heat, the prospect of dragging the spare around for a couple of hours really didn’t appeal, so we headed straight to the Best Western in Sottomarina. We were joined by an awful lot of other teams who, like us, had opted to skip this challenge. By 4pm we’d got booked in, found the bar and pool, and prepared for the forthcoming night out.
However, being Blackpool-by-the-Med, it was full of drunk single people with dodgy cars being loud and making a nuisance. Actually…
An easy day on the car, despite the temperatures. Just a few hundred miles of motorway action, although the gearbox has started to make some slightly scary noises, and it’s a long way to Rome tomorrow.




Labels: Staples2Naples 07
22 September 2007
Wow.
Switzerland is beautiful. The scenery is simply stunning, with huge pointy mountains and vast green plains, with some glaciers, cliffs and cows thrown in for good measure.
It´s just a shame I couldn´t see much of it as I was too busy driving the Renault!
Starting at the collection point in Sarnen, where the ´Top Gone´team made a dramatic entrance to the theme from Top Gun, we headed up and down mountains for something like 45 minutes. At that point we had to sit at the side of the road, bonnet up, and let temperatures come down a little.
Repeat eight or nine times.
The brakes got a workout on the way back down the mountains but, thanks to a helpful discount from EBC Brakes Direct, we´d got a new set of discs and pads on the Safrane.
The biggest scare of the day came in the afternoon when, without warning, the air conditioning controls failed. Fortunately a simple restart of the car resolved the problem, so life wasn´t quite as tough as it might have been.
Only a few hundred miles today, but all of it steep and tight. No car problems beyond the air-con, as all the stops were pre-emptive. Roll on Sottomarina.





Labels: Staples2Naples 07
21 September 2007
ZZZzzz.Driving through France is, frankly, a very dull thing to do. Mile after mile there was little beyond flat ground and a few vines. There were, however, hundreds of is British cars, which didn't help us in our task.After the big start from Calais docks, which saw some 270 cars assembled in some sort of order before taking over the French road system, it was time to play Number Plate Scrabble. Using only the letters from 30 French car number plates that were to be photographed on the way, we were to play Scrabble with the final points score going to our rally total. With the word 'dazzle' on a triple word score, we're confident…The high point of the day was the fact that less than 10 meters from the start line one of our party got nicked by the local Gendarmes for having a blue flashing light and looking a tiny bit like a police car. They didn't care about all the other flashing lights of the furry cars, the tin foil covered cars, the one with the golf course on top or the cut in half Volvo… just the blue flashing light!We arrived in Sarnen ready for beer and a pizza (being as we were in Switzerland we wanted to eat something authentic).Mostly motorway miles, we covered around 960km with nothing more than an unusual vibration at speeds above 120kph. No problem.




Labels: Staples2Naples 07
20 September 2007
We're off!We say Staples Corner but, as with all famous rallies, the event doesn't actually start there. Instead, we make our way from Huntingdon to Calais in glorious weather. With nothing but clear motorway all the way to Dover, we reach the docks in time to meet up with a few of the other team involved.After the boat it was a quick hop to the Holiday Inn to find a vast array of cars already in place, from a John Deere Nova to a Volvo F14 Tomcat via an Audi tank (literally), a Rover 214 dressed up as a dog complete with fur and a roof-less Volvo Police car, amongst many many others. It's like nothing we've seen before.After that it was out in to town with more rally competitors for food and drink. Note for the future: Calais isn't the cultural centre of France.An easy day on the car, with no issues at all during the 200 miles or so. Even the temperatures were kept in check. 

Labels: Staples2Naples 07
19 September 2007
I have been a very quiet blogger since this wonderfully exciting plan was born. I drop the odd comment here and there but on the whole you could think of me as a silent co-driver (yes you did hear that correctly!). However, sat at home now watching the end of series 3 of Battlestar Gallactica, I suddenly realise that tomorrow Phil and I will be hauling our 30 something year old butts across Europe, with a 15 year old sofa on wheels that doesn't have heating!
2 weeks ago we were at Donnington, what an amazing weekend that was. Topped off by getting told off by the marshals for speeding on track! You gotta love those guys, they made our weekend! But I remember thinking that it still didn't feel like we were really going to do it. I know it did for Phil as he has been slaving over a hot car for months and months and I have to all intents and purposes been in denial. But it has suddenly hit me (rather like a mountain bike now I think about it), S2N START DAY IS HERE!!!!!!
So enough waffling from me, I will be back tomorrow I hope, with thoughts and natter from our first day on the road. Hopefully we won't have killed each other before we get to Calais (should be fine, we can unite in many hours of Monty Python style jesting about the French!). Don't forget to check out the live tracking system to see where we are and where we have been. If it stays static in a field for over 3 hours then you know a sheep has eaten out Bluetooth GPS thing so you can stop watching it!
TTFN
Labels: Staples2Naples 07
15 September 2007
Last night saw the Cima Racing : Staples2Naples 2007 team (that's me and Juliana) head in to Frieda B in Clapham for our official launch party, and what a great night it was.Our good friends at Frieda B produced a special cocktail in our honour for the night, the appropriately titled 'Neapolitan Stapler', with 50p from each sale going straight to the SPARKS charity fund.Beyond that, it was a great chance for our sponsors, supporters and friends to get a final look at the rally car before it headed on its way to Italy just a few days later. Parked right outside the bar, the car attracted attention and, thankfully, attracted further donations to SPARKS.All in all, a fantastic night. Thanks Frieda B!Labels: Staples2Naples 07
10 September 2007
What a weekend!
First off, a great big thank you to our friends at Kia Hospitality for the fantastic deal on their suite, and Stephen Dell at the Renault Alpine Owners Club for allowing us in, and apologies in advance to everyone else for the length of this post.
After a smooth drive up to Donington Park, through mist, sun and rain (although not all together) we drove through the gates and parked our Safrane in the infield, with the organisers seemingly quite keen to get the car as far towards the back as possible. I can’t think why…
After the meet and greet, we headed to the suite where we were met with the news that Mitchell Signs were being blocked from entering the VIP car park. There was some heated debate, seemingly revolving around not having a ‘P2’ written on the car, but it was resolved eventually. It was then back to the car with Danny Jones from Mitchell Signs, where our names were added to the windows. It looks like a proper rally car now. Kind of.
Saturday was a quiet day on the suite, with me and Juliana, Mitchell Signs and some friends being the only people there, along with Phill Mckenzie from Kia. A few spare tickets were distributed to RAOC members in exchange for a donation to SPARKS.
A good days racing was had, and all was well. At the end of the day we headed to the hotel before turning round and going back to Donington Park for the Renault Histoire et Collection Gala Evening. Sitting down to dinner with legend Rene Arnoux was fun, but it was a chance meeting with a accredited photographer that was the highlight. A couple of hospitality passes for Sunday later, and we’d got a photographer for our on track excursions.
Sunday arrived, and big crowds were expected. Last year’s event saw 60,000 people come through the gates but, with 45,000 coming in on Saturday, the anticipated figures were far higher.
Arriving in the suite on Sunday were some friends and family and a few sponsors, notably Chris Slack from Alfred McAlpine Infrastructure Services, along with his excited son. Traffic was awful getting in to the circuit, even for VIP guests, and a few were looking like they may miss the on-track demo of our car, but the Formula Renault racers soon saw to that, with the drivers choosing to perform a series of barrel rolls through the Old Hairpin, and delaying the racing by a significant amount. Added to safety car periods in every race, our demo was postponed in order that the World Series by Renault race could make its live TV slot.
However, the time was spent well, with us managing to persuade Renault designer Parys Cybulski to draw a slightly ‘re-imagined’ version of our car.
As the hours ticked by, and the racing came to an end, it was time to take our old boat out on the tarmac. The 85,000 strong crowd had started to make their way to the queues in the car park, but that didn’t put us off. With passenger space at a premium, the decision was made to take the two children brought down by Barratt Homes’ Nigel Tinsley, along with another guest, as I set about wringing the neck of the Safrane.

Sandwiched by Alpine GTA’s on track, I had to wave a few cars by along the straight bits, but I made it all up on the corners. The racing experience helps, but forcing the automatic Safrane through the twists and turns of Donington isn’t easy, with the car protesting at every opportunity. However, with the new tyres provided by Micheldever Tyre Services, there was plenty of grip, if little feel, and some serious cornering forces were produced – see the kids pressed against the window as evidence!
Touching 100mph at the end of Starkey’s Straight, and sliding through Redgate Corner in a nicely balanced four wheel drift, I was immensely proud to be told by the stewards that our car was going too quick.
Too quick. In a 15 year old Safrane. Brilliant.
The car performed faultlessly, with no bits falling off and no fluids bubbling over – although I was quite easy on the brakes thanks to some slightly ropey brake fluid.
After that it was time to finish off and queue to get home. Six miles of near stationary traffic seriously tested the new cooling systems, but it all worked out ok.
It had been 48 hours nearly non-stop, but it was worth every minute.
Thanks to those that turned up, thanks to those unrelated people that donated while we were there (such as AllAboutProperty.com), and thanks to everybody that made the weekend possible.
Next stop is Frieda B for the launch party, and then it’s off on the rally itself.
I can’t wait.Labels: Staples2Naples 07
07 September 2007
Brilliant!With just 14 hours before the gorgeous Williams-Renault Safrane FW14B is due to be displayed at Donington Park I decided to go and perform a couple of routine but vital checks. Things like making sure the tyres were ok, the coolant levels were fine, and that the bolts holding the vents on hadn't come loose.Then I noticed the pool of fuel under the car. Roughly 25 litres of it.With few alternatives available, I took a gamble and drove the car straight to our good friends at ASAP. The decision to drive was (rightly) ridiculed both there and by my wife, but needs must.A trip up the ramps, a few pokes and prods, and then a new bit of tubing from the fuel pump to a bit of tubing further forwards, and all's ok.Phew.Labels: Staples2Naples 07
06 September 2007
Just hours after getting all the cooling problem sorted on the Safrane, Mother Nature has gone and done it for me.Despite being bathed in 30+ degree heat all summer, a quick check of the Stelvio Pass webcam shows a nice blanket of snow.So that's a cold environment in a car that has holes cut in the bonnet, no undertray, and a blocked heater matrix. Time to find a couple of rugs to keep me and the engine warm!Labels: Staples2Naples 07
Finally I've got a little bit of confidence in the cooling system on the car. Rather than find the cause of the overheating problems (although it's realistically just the fact that the radiator is 15 years old and a bit knackered) I decided to bodge a fix.
So, after a few hours work, there's now a switch in the dashboard that turn on the hunking great twin fans in front of the radiator. Now, if the car gets too hot, I can just flick a discrete switch and (hopefully) watch the temperatures come back under control.
Genius.Labels: Staples2Naples 07
30 August 2007
Yesterday saw me take the now stickered Safrane up to Peterborough, parking it inside the Serpentine Green Shopping Centre, blocking customers on their way to Boots and Tesco.The idea, other than to irritate, was to extract money from them, put it in our shiny yellow collection tins, and then hand that cash over to SPARKS, the charity we're doing all this for.After close to ten hours in the centre, with free coffee being supplied by the good people in the Tesco Café, we'd come away with a bundle of cash and very sore feet.Thanks Peterborough.

Labels: Staples2Naples 07
25 August 2007
The cooling system on the Safrane still isn't working properly, which didn't fill me with a great deal of confidence when I woke to (probably) the hottest day of the year so far faced with two hours of motorway speed driving, with a nice slow section in the middle. A hot engine and no airflow doesn't make the car very happy.However, the good people at Mitchell Signs couldn't be left waiting, as they'd kindly offered their services to us, prepared to sticker up the car so it looks a little more like the 'rally' car it's meant to be.Stopping off at Thamesmead on the way, to pick up Juliana, the co-driving totty, we arrived at Micthell Signs in the small Kent town of Ash with the water temperatures rising rapidly, but within an acceptable range.Mitchell's Danny Jones greeted us and, along with another member of staff, started the process of stickering the car. A few design tweaks later, and a few cups of coffee, the first sticker made it on - the big and bold Cima Racing URL on the back of the car.Sticker after sticker was produced and slapped on the car in a process that looked frighteningly easy. It wasn't, but they made it look it.After a few hours, the work was finished.And it looks fantastic! Thanks guys.


Labels: Staples2Naples 07
19 August 2007
It's getting better - the interior of the car is now complete, with carbon fibre trim and safety gear all in place for the rally, and a stereo with an auxiliary input that works!With drills and hairdryers needed, it was dangerous work thanks mainly to the ever present threat of thunderstorms, but we've managed to restore the inside to a reasonable standard and, quite frankly, improve on what Renault did back in 1992.It's not the last word in style, and there's little support in the seats for hundreds of hairpin bends we'll be taking, but there's worse places to spend seven days and 3,000 miles.
Labels: Staples2Naples 07
12 August 2007
Today saw another trip to Swadlincote to finish off the paintwork on the Renault, despite the weather forecast being for scattered showers.So, late on Saturday night I got a head start, masking off vast swathes of car before the drive to Swad. Sunday morning therefore made me feel slightly ridiculous as I headed up the M1 in a car that looked even worse than it did when I'd bought it.As it was last time, a quick trip for paint and thinners inevitably led to breakfast at McDonalds, where my good friend Jason Jenkin from T-Mobile wolfed down a Meat Ball Melt Deli Sandwich with fries and a chocolate doughnut. Being the healthy kind of guy he is, he washed that down with Coke Zero.Alright, it's not relevant to the story, but I know someone is laughing at it...So the sun stayed out, the paint went on without too many mishaps, and we decided to do the wheels. Around six hours later all was done, and the car now looks more like the Williams-Renault FW14B than ever.Still left to do, cosmetically, are the wing mirrors, the brake calipers and some details on the wheels. Oh yes, and a massive wing.Beyond that, it's all mechanical.
Labels: Staples2Naples 07